Cell Block Tango
by Mrs. Fillion
Summary: Lynette, Susan, Katherine, Gabrielle, Mary Alice, and Bree are in jail for the murder of their husbands.


Bree:

_Pop_

Lynette:

_Six _

Katherine:

_Squish _

Mary Alice:

_Uh-Uh _

Gabrielle:

_Cicero _

Susan:

_Braddock!_

All:

_He had it coming _

_He had it coming _

_He only had himself to blame _

_If you'd have been there _

_If you'd have seen it _

Gabrielle:

_I betcha you would have done the same! _

Bree:

_Pop _

Lynette:

_Six _

Katherine:

_Squish _

Mary Alice:

_Uh-Uh _

Gabrielle:

_Cicero _

Susan:

_Braddock!_

Bree:

_You know how people have these habits you can't stand? Like my husband, Orson. He liked to chew gum. No, chew wasn't the right word. He liked to pop his gum. I came home from the test kitchen one night; it had not been a good day. I'm looking for a little bit of comfort and there's Orson, with his feet up on the coffee table, knocking back his third beer, and popping his gum. I roll my eyes and turn to him, "Orson darling, if you don't quit doing that I swear…" And he did, right in my face. In turn I went upstairs and got my shotgun out from under my bed and shot him twice…in the head. _

All:

_He had it coming _

_He had it coming _

_He only had himself to blame _

_If you'd have been there _

_If you'd have heard it _

_I betcha you would _

_Have done the same! _

Lynette:

_I met Tom Scavo from Salt Lake City about three years ago. We started talking and he soon told me he was single. We clicked right away. A couple months after we met we started living together. We had this routine; I would stay home, he would go to work, when he came home, I'd fix him his favorite drink. Then I would get dinner ready while he was drinking it and when it was ready, we'd eat it together. Then he had to go on a string of mysterious "business"trips. So, on his next trip I followed him. Single he told me, yeah right. It wasn't bad enough that he was married, he had six wives. One of those Mormon types. So, I beat him back to our house and when he came in, I had he drink ready. Some guys just can't handle their arsenic! _

All:

_Hah! He had it coming Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-Uh, _

_He had it coming Cicero, Braddock!_

_He took a flower _

_In it's prime _

_And then he used it Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-Uh, _

_And he abused it Cicero, Braddock!_

_It was a murder _

_But not a crime! _

Katherine:

_I'm standing in the kitchen, minding my own business, cutting some vegetables for dinner when my husband Mike storms in. He's got this jealous rage about him and he screamed at me, "You've been screwing Susan's cousin!" and he just kept on screaming, "You've been screwing Susan's cousin!" He had completely lost it. Then, he ran into my knife! He ran into my knife twelve times! _

All:

_If you'd have been there _

_If you'd have seen it _

_I betcha you would have done the same! _

Mary Alice:

_What am I doing in this jail? They told me one of my tenants helped my chop off my husband's head, but I would never do that. I love my husband too much. I am innocent, I did nothing wrong. I don't know why they are saying I did it. I tried to tell them that I didn't do it, but they didn't believe me. _

Katherine:

_Yeah, but did you do it? _

Mary Alice:

_UH UH, not guilty. _

_­_Gabrielle:

_My sister, Edie, and I traveled around doing this double act. On occasion, my husband, Carlos, would travel with us. For the grand finale, we did these twenty acrobatic tricks, in a row. Back flips, cartwheels, jumps, the splits. All of them right after the one before. This one night after a show, we're in this hotel, Cicero. The three of us in a hotel drinking and laughing. The next thing I know, we run out of ice, I offer to go get some. When I come back, there's Edie and Carlos doing number twenty-three, the spread eagle. I was in such a state of disbelief I blacked out and can't remember anything. It wasn't until later when I went to wash my hands, after seeing the blood go down the drain, I even knew they were dead. _

All:

_They had it coming _

_They had it coming _

_They had it coming all along_

_I didn't do it _

_But if I'd done it _

_How could you tell me that I was wrong?_

Gabrielle:

_They had it coming _

All:

_They had it coming _

Gabrielle:

_They had it coming _

All:

_They had it coming _

Gabrielle:

_They had it coming all along _

_I didn't do it. _

All:

_She didn't do it. _

Gabrielle:

_But if I'd done it_

All:

_But if she'd done it_

Gabrielle:

_How could you tell me that I was wrong? _

Gabrielle:

_They had it coming_

All:

_They had it coming _

Gabrielle:

_They had it coming _

All:

_They had it coming _

Gabrielle:

_They had it coming _

All:

_They took a flower in its prime _

Gabrielle:

_They had it coming all along _

_I didn't do it. _

All:

_And then they used it _

Gabrielle:

_But if I'd done it _

All:

_And they abused it _

Gabrielle:

_How could you tell me that I was wrong? _

Susan:

_I loved Jackson Braddock more than I can ever express. He was the perfect man, sensitive, caring, sweet. He was artistic, the painter type. He had problems that no one knew about; he was always trying to 'find himself'. While 'finding himself' he also found Stacey, Rose, Marissa, and Emily. You could say we broke up because of 'artistic differences'. The funny thing was, he saw himself alive and I saw him dead. _

All:

_The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum_

_The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum _

_­_All:

_They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
All along  
All along  
'Cause if they used us  
'Cause if they used us  
And they abused us  
And they abused us  
How could you tell us  
How could you tell us  
That we were wrong?  
That we were wrong? _

Gabrielle, Katherine, Mary Alice:

He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He only had  
Himself  
To blame.  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have seen it  
I betcha  
You would  
Have done  
The same!

Bree:

_If you don't quit doing that… _

Lynette:

_Six wives _

Katherine

_Twelve times! _

Mary Alice:

I don't know why they're saying I did it.

Gabrielle:

_Number twenty three – the spread eagle _

Susan:

_Artistic differences _


End file.
